Roomers are flying that the release of the new iPhone is less than a month away. and lines have already started to form on the roof of foxcon.
The United States is the most expensive place to deliver a baby coming in at 12 thousand dollars for a vaginal delivery. not to be confused with the 12 dollar vaginal delivery service offered by craigslist.
A new study shows caffeinated coffee may lower the risk of suicide in adults by 50%. Meanwhile Decaff coffee drinkers continue to ask, “whats the point”.
A new study shows caffeinated coffee may lower the risk of suicide in adults by fifty percent. Folders has already changed their advertising to “The best part of waking up, is not slitting your wrists”
Two teenage girls were arrested for armed robbery after a photo of the girls in their robbery costumes was found on one of their phones. The photo is for a new phone app called “Turn Your Selfie In”
After a 3 week hiatus, we are back with a fresh new dose of internet for your ears. This week we compete to see which of us is the cheapest whore. It’s a fight to the finish on a new Static in the Attic. Listen Online
Here’s what happens when I drink, and then diced to turn on my microphone. It’s not pretty. Listen Online
This week, death might be an option for Kyle and me, especially when E.T.’s genitalia hangs in the balance. That plus a hypothetical question that brings vulnerable me to my hypothetical knees. Come join us on the internet! Listen Online
I’m out back taking a smoke break. Correction, I’m out back smoking cigs so hard I’ll need an air break, only I won’t need an air break because I’m a smoking boss hoss. That’s right, I’m rippin heaters back here till my lungs bleed. “But why Jim?” you ask oh dull minded roommates of mine, “do you enjoy the taste, or perhaps the buzz?”, to which my answer is no idiots. No one likes smoking breakfast cigars. I’m obviously busting zags because they make me look super awesome and legit, maybe even too legit. I can’t help it, I just look so freaking cool and bad-ass when I rip a dart. So spare me the lecture, I know they’re “terrible” for me, but I look bomb Don Draper.com Juan good.
You have to admit there’s something undeniably sexy and suave about a man who has no regard for his life, breath, or the way his fingers smell. All the pretty girls walking by are thinking, “He must be famous or something. That or he’s dangerous, and my mom won’t like him! I bet he makes love like a vampire.” Don’t you guys see, puffing gorts is like the back door to a ladies heart!
I did the math dudes. You basically have to puff butts if you want chicks.
Life – chicks = Lame slow death (roughly 80 years)
Life + Cigs = CHICKS and faster death
Chicks > Death
Therefore Cigs – Death = Endless life with multiple chicks. (secret of universe)
That’s called solid math gentlemen. If you keep smoking, you live forever with lots of hot babes.
Finally, cigarettes are the best way to trick the female mind into thinking you’re interesting, even though you’re not! All interesting guys slowly kill themselves through addiction, like Dr. House. So quit being uninteresting and come Pop a schmo with me. Probably a LOT of super hot chicks back here by now.
For more Notes From Jim’s Fridge CLICK HERE
Come hang out with Kyle and me on the internet! This week on an all new Static in the Attic, bullets fly, animals talk, and Kyle gets engaged! Listen Online
This week Kyle and I go for a swim in the deep end of the internet, down a Wikipedia Wormhole.Thanks for the listens, LISTEN ONLINE
Don’t be alarmed if you hear angry noises coming from my bedroom. I’m full on hissy-fitting in here right now, punching pillows, and listening to Rage Against the Machine as loud as my laptop speakers will go. It’s a full on freak out anger fest in here right now. I’ve locked myself in here and I swear to effing god I’m not coming out until the kitchen is clean. It looks as if a blind person and a muscular dystrophy patient got in a spaghetti fight. Is that what happened? Hmm? Did we join some sort of bazaar community outreach program, where local handicapped kids get to destroy our kitchen as therapy? Because if that’s the case, I’m STILL EFFING PISSED at you guys! Seriously, I across the board do not trust people with disabilities, do not let them in our apartment. BUT, that’s obviously not what happened, because all of our shit is still here. So that means you monkey pubes made the mess, and YOU need to un the fuck make it.
I’m so freaking fracking pissed off at you jerk knuckles. Join the gull darn adult world and clean up after yourselves, GOD. I’m seriously not coming out of my room until you fat idiot jerkhbutts CLEAN. I’m probably urinating in my water bottle at this point, because you ass farts haven’t started cleaning yet, and I gotta pee, and I swore an anger oath I would remain in my quarters until the kitchen is restored.
You know where to find me. Knowing you guys, it’ll probably be a few days before you clean, so when you do come let me out of my anger cage, it’ll probably smell weird.
I seriously hate you guys,
For more Note’s From Jim’s Fridge, CLICK HERE
This week Kyle and I give detailed instructions on surviving a weekend in Vegas, a zombie plague, and a Peaches and Hot Sauce Live show. Listen up, your life may depend on it! LISTEN ONLINE